Many years ago I told my husband that for Valentine ’s
Day I wanted nothing from him. I let it be known that it was a made-up holiday
and that we had been married long enough at this point that it seemed silly to
engage in this holiday of love. To boot I was crazed with three kiddos under 4
years of age and he was so busy with work it seemed like a waste of energy when
we both had little to spare. It was agreed. Sadly he believed me. I got
nothing…zero…no flowers…no candy…no card... zilch.He got from me a big fight. Yes I
know it makes no sense. It makes no sense if you are a man. If you are a woman
you maybe understand.
I was sincere in my initial thoughts but then when he
actually followed through and did nothing I felt like the only woman alive who
had a lameo husband who was basically letting me know that he may love me but
he does not appreciate me.
For several years after the “Great Valentines Fight”
(as we refer to it) he passive aggressively went over the top with flowers and
candy. I say over the top because we did not have the money and he always
responded to my complaints at the gifts with “oh no you will never trick me
again”. Once again just not feeling the love!
What is my point? My point is Valentine’s Day is almost as
hyped up as New Year’s Eve and we all need to bring it down a notch. Or at a minimum know
thyself and what will meet your standards of a successfully executed Valentine’s
Day. What will allow you to feel appreciated and show that appreciation to the
one you love?
Let’s be honest Valentine’s Day is a day of potential extremes
but you can make it your own. My husband and I now have a system in place that
is simple and routine and it is also semi-lame and pathetic but it is my Valentine's day and I love it. Do not judge me but here we go...he gets to pick the meal and I get a lovely bunch of
flowers from Trader Joes (not too expensive) and a gift card to Starbucks. We do not spend too much money, he is happy, I'm happy and I’m
sorry I love it! And I love him.
Expectations met.
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